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When it comes to ‘Desire’ it’s never too late...

Sex experts offer advice and hope for seniors at the Lake Oswego Adult Community Center.

Maegan Megginson, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and owner of the Center for Couples and Sex Therapy and Kristine D’Angelo, Certified Sexologist & Intimacy Coach and owner of “Do Your Sex Life A Favor” started softly in their presentation "Anatomy of Desire for Adults” at the Lake Oswego Adult Community Center.

In her introduction, Megginson, took pains to warn audience members that they planned an explicit discussion of sexual issues facing senior citizens and graciously urged anyone who felt discomfort about the topic to feel free to leave.

After that, Megginson and D’Angelo, didn’t waste time in discussing any matter about seniors achieving sexual intimacy. They boldly addressed pleasure, intimacy with yourself and others, sex toys, erotica, sexual dysfunction, lubricants, and everything else under the sexual sun. No one was seen leaving the room as Megginson and D’Angelo tackled one taboo topic after another.

For the two speakers such a discussion has been a long time coming.

“We’ve waited a long time to do this because it’s never been safe to talk about senior sexuality until now,” Megginson said. “We want those people who are struggling with desire to be more open to pleasure.”

For these two women, giving sexual counseling to senior citizens is becoming an increasingly important part of their practice.

“Since I started coaching in 2015 I’ve definitely seen more and more senior citizens come to see me,” D’Angelo said. “I see this as real progress for our culture. We’re moving toward embracing sexuality instead of moving away from it.”

While almost every other age segment of the

society has to fight off going sex crazy, America’s senior citizens usually face discouragement. Megginson said she had found that some senior citizens have not had sexual relationships in 20, 30 or even 40 years. The fact is, people have received a lot of bum information about sex.

“We are taught pleasure is self-indulgence, pleasure is selfish and it’s shameful,” Megginson said. “We’re told we have no time for sex. We’re taught work comes before pleasure.”

On the contrary, Megginson said, “Sexuality is your birthright. It is fine to cultivate sexual desire. We need to look at all the things that stop us in our tracks when it comes to having sex. Stress is the number one killer of desire.”

Coming up close behind are: a painful past; a busy mind that doesn’t focus; pain; disability; tension; and low self-esteem.

After this bad news, however, D’Angelo rolled out all kinds of ways to accelerate desire. “Where is your sexploration?” she asked.

Sex stimulators include privacy, safety, a locked door, music, mindfulness, and mangos, just like George Costanza on “Seinfeld.” Fans of the show remember how after helping himself to fresh pieces of mango from Kramer’s fruit market, an exultant George says, “I’m back, baby!” However, not everyone experiences such Constanzian sexual rejuvenation. D’Angelo’s motto is, “Take your time.”

“Slow down. Be aware of what is going on,” she said. “There’s no goal. Just experience what gives you pleasure.”

No, seniors shouldn’t go into their sexual

comeback saga expecting a sexual experience accompanied by rockets’ red glare. Little pleasures ultimately lead to big results.

Still, there might be some embarrassment along the way, but D’Angelo delicately pushed such hot button topics as lubricants, erotica, standing naked in front of a mirror and discovering what you like about your body, the joys of self-pleasure, and doing a boudoir photo shoot. Likely an idea that had not occurred to a single person there.

“It’s so empowering,” promised D’Angelo, even as eyebrows shot up all over the room.

You might even jump on a bus going to downtown Portland to shop at She Bop adult boutique, where their motto is female-friendly, not female-only.

“Don’t be cheap when it comes to sex toys,” D’Angelo advised. “Take the risk and go in person. You will learn so much about yourself.”

For D’Angelo and Megginson, all of the risks will be worth it.

“Desire is there for anyone bold enough to find it,” D’Angelo said. “Age is no barrier to the joys of desire.”

By the end of the presentation the crowd was all pumped up and getting ready to use many of the new ideas they had heard. One excited lady said that she and her husband were already planning a shopping trip to the She Bop shop.

This program, Megginson explained, was aimed at the sexual needs of women. On Friday, June 19th part two will focus on Men & Desire.

“Anatomy of Desire in Adults” was the latest event for the LOACC’s award-winning program, the “Living Well Talk Series,” directed and created by Nicolette Hume.

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